1. |
Battleship
01:43
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I could write a song about how much i wanna die
or i could write a song about how good it is to be alive
i could write a song with a super catchy chorus
something the audience would not perceive as boring
but thats now me, no thats not me anymore
so i'll write a song about how much i smoke cigarettes
or i'll write a song about how much i hate each passing breathe
or i could write a song for all of the burning in my chest
or i'll write a song for how little time i have left
what do you what from me?
and what do you see
when you look at me
with those thinking eyes around
i wish that i'd go blind so i dont have to see them
through every awkward sentence i concoct
cause i'm a fucking battleship
and you're the storm that keeps me land-locked
i'm longing to be out at sea
so i am begging on my knee please
stop
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2. |
I'm Not
02:47
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Is this what worthless looks like to you?
Waking up each day in the same clothes as days before
With the same unshowered hair, no I know
I’m not perfect, but at least I’m trying
At least I’m honest, and I’m not hiding
Got me wasting away in the same damn room everyday
And if I wanted to waste away
in the same damn room everyday….
I still wake up, despite dreams of not
I left my room, just to piss but it’s a start
I left my house just to go get cigarettes
But at least it’s something
I’m not useless, no I swear I’m not useless
Just a little bit nervous
And lazy and scared
But I’m not a waste
Got me wasting away, in the same damn room every fucking day
And if it wanted to waste away,
In the same damn room every fucking day then I
Wouldn’t leave my bed, but instead
I leave the house
For more this time, for more this time
I live my life, despite what you think
And I enjoy my life, despite how much you drink
Thank you for showing me how to never grow up to be
Miserable and angry and
hateful and spiteful
And scotch drunk
Miserable and angry and
hateful and spiteful and scotch drunk
But worst of all small
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3. |
Conversations
02:15
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when every minute is a mile
and my thoughts all turn quite vile
nights like these they all end the same
i guess i'll just go home
and play my little game of having
conversations all myself
i'll pass out on the shelf
slurring all the words i've always wanted to shout
wish these thoughts would get out
when every word is wrong
and i wish i could be strong
i swear i wont make it out alive
so i guess i'll take the dive
into self-righteousness and self-induced plagues
of more and more shitty days, and shitty nights
where i jerk-off just so i can fall asleep
i guess i'm just a creep
i'd set myself on fire if i thought that it would help
instead i'll play the cards i've been dealt
where everything revolves around tonight
where i just can't help but get into a fight
with the thoughts, and the fears, and the seven fucking
beers in my stomach, i wanna run
that won't be fun, to explain
when i get back and i try to relax
throw my feet up on this ottoman
ass in my favorite chair
maybe, hopefully you just wont fucking care
where i went, or what i've seen
or what i've done or who i've been
seven months till june
it'll be your birthday soon
i'll make up for all the shitty presents i got you
over the 3 years i've been acquainted with this wonderful source of
stress, relief, happiness, and grief, so i'll make this very brief
why wont you give my feet a break and come backl
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4. |
It
02:50
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I thought that this was gone
well it's supposed to be
i've spent years in fear
waiting for this moment
it wasn't supposed to come back
since it has i haven't slept
since it has have things really changed at all
or am i still....
searching and searching for validation
in anyway it'd come
you think i'm happy right?
well you couldn't be more wrong
be more wrong
it's back or never left or lied dormant
it doesn't matter, it's here i guess it has been
i'm surrounded oh how i've been hounded
now i'm lost at sea, stuck wondering if i'll always be.....
searching and searching for validation
in anyway it'd come
you think i'm happy right?
well you couldn't be more wrong
be more wrong
it'll have to beat me to my battered knees
say that i cant leave, make me kneel
bloodied and bruised, broken, fucking used
it'll make me bow like i have so many times
it'll make me regret shutting the door in it's face, the last time
it ripped me limb from limb, cut them into pieces
made me eat them, pulled them straight from my stomach
strung them around it's neck to remind me that it will always have
a part of me
(killer guitar solo)
i'm hiding underneath my bed and it's asleep on top of it
i'm way too scared to crawl away, whats the use
it'd find me anyways
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5. |
Smile More
04:02
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I can't articulate thoughts to words
I'm trying to write but the right words just aren't there
I'm cliche, I'm passé, I wish that I was better
that i had a little more to offer
everyone around me is a liar, yeah you're all actors
damn you're doing pretty good
I'm talking Emmys, Golden Globes, and Oscars
it's all so faux, it's all so feigned,
I guess that's why i love the rain
cause it's something I can feel
no matter what i say or do
it will always be real
to cool me off, to calm me down,
to bring me back
from the brink of the worst anxiety attack i think I've ever had
I need to breathe, I need to sleep,
I need to smile more and actually not have it feel forced
I need to leave, I need to see,
if there's a place in the great big world out there that could suit me
I am afraid, of going home,
sorry mom I love you, but that's where I feel the most alone
I need a change, is that so strange?
to want to get better, but you only get worse,
isn't that the worst
when you try, yeah you try,
but you still can't quench that thirst
I am afraid, of going home,
sorry mom I love you, but that's where I feel the most alone
I need to breathe, I need to sleep,
I need to smile more and actually not have it feel forced
I will start to shower, and change every day
I will learn to not just lock myself away
I will finally get some sleep, maybe I'll start watching what I eat
I'll smoke less cigarettes
and overall just hate myself less
(killer guitar solo)
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6. |
Next Time
00:54
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next time i drive to albany
i'll make sure not to fall asleep
crash my car on rock city
in front of number 223
blissfully so sound asleep
not a care in the world i started to bleed
20 minutes not one car passed
while I lay half dead in broken glass
next time i drive to albany
i'll be sure to fall asleep
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7. |
December 23rd
03:09
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About a year ago today
crashed my car on a road called Rock City
and I wish I could have seen it
Shiney spinning vessel
glass flying every which way
ain't nothing like almost dying while listening to
Bomb the Music Industry!
I called my mom and she didn't believe me
"Mom, I'm serious, I'm sorry,
I've ruined my life and yours too"
"It's okay, Merry Christmas, I'm okay.
And I'll see you soon"
All the gifts were lost
in the wreck
so all i got my family for christmas
was a heart attack and an insurance check
Nowadays, I take it pretty slow
that's just partially because I drive
an (Chevrolet) Aveo
Stand and Wave reminds me
winter here and it gets cold
it's icy and I'm scared but their
melancholy sounds will lead me home
All the gifts were lost
in the wreck
so all i got my family for christmas
was a heart attack and an insurance check
"Merry Christmas Craig, I'm sorry I moved out.
Just know I'm never too far from home,
just right up I-90"
As I start to drive up north,
I can't help but look back
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8. |
I Should Go See Doctors
01:48
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Who wants to see me fall into a sleep
that no one could pull me out of?
Cause I can feel it coming
and it's moving pretty fast
I feel like garbage again
from waking up on the wrong side of the bed
it's the only side that I've got left
you took the other and ran
with absolutely no regrets
I thought if I grew my hair out past my shoulders
I could relieve a bit of stress
now it just hangs, heavy as boulders
the telltale sign that I'm a mess
I'd rather die than cut myself off
from the ones that I love most
but each day it feels like I am more of a ghost
I know that i should go see doctors
they'd help me diagnose
they'd say it's more than just cigarettes
that cause the burning in my throat
They'd open up my eyes
to everything I'm doing wrong
they'd tell me how to get better
but I don't wanna live that long
I'll take sooner rather than later
another heartbreak should be enough
if you don't believe me
go ahead, call my bluff
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9. |
So Glad (Xmas)
02:27
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I'm watching myself grow up
every minute of everyday
I feel myself get older
in every single way
My head a little groggier
my eyesight getting foggier
trust me when I say
"I didn't hear a god-damned word you said"
I'm too busy thinking about yesterday's mistakes
and all the actions I could possibly take
to fix it tomorrow
But I'm talking about me, me, me
cause I'm a selfish human being
I take what I want and give nothing back
guess that you could say forgivness
is a quality I've always lacked
I used to be different now I am not myself
I used to have dreams now I can't even ask for help
I'm begging, pleading, over-eating
all my thoughts are self-defeating
prophecy so self-fulling
I can't even cry (fuck) myself to sleep
Laying in my bed again
cause I'm too stoned to comprehend
that my own fucked up actions
are the reason I keep losing friends
nothing I can do to stop it,
watch 'em leave while feeling helpless
this constant pain inside my chest
is what keeps me from getting any rest
So "Merry, oh merry christmas,
we're all so glad that you could miss it.
Cause no one wants to look you in the eye!"
Well "Happy, oh happy new year,
we're all so glad you couldn't be here.
Cause between death or you?
I'd rather die!"
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10. |
Why I Cut My Hair
08:43
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I've built a box
filled it to the top
with thing I'd never want
and sealed it with the strongest lock
The key is always on my chain
only metaphorically in my brain
so I guess I'll have to swallow it
in the not-so-shallow ditch
that I've dug with a shovel caked in love
I could try to bury the box
But you're a minor and a lock-smith
some I'd like to un-spend time with
with a pick-axe made of fear
and a lock-pick set you've had for years
But two and a half wasn't so bad
for some of the best nights i wish I never had
sitting in my room still thinking of you
hoping i made the right move
A cup of tea that left a ring
to stand for everything I'm not,
like trustworthy or enough
"Okay, I'm sorry that it was too hot"
I tried my best to hold you steady,
all along you knew you weren't ready
I hate your house, waited for you to come out
but you wouldn't show me shit with them around
I tried to hold my ground
ya know, it just keeps on slipping
please tell me that there is more to living
than a tight chest and a never caught breath
or my aversion to mirrors
or how about my new-found love of beer
So please, just take it easy on me
I know I seem quite care-free
but I'm not, I'm locked all up inside my head
a toxic, damage-doing, closed off mess
so please just be careful with me
I am fragile-egoed being
you asked if I believed in love
as if you could ever really care
well I guess that's
why I cut my hair
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Everybody That Loves You Albany, New York
Music band from the up part of New York. 2022’s lowest rated hot dog cart
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